The Vengabus is not coming. No one is jumping. You look stupid.

Whoops, I appear to have been slightly lax in my blogging. Three months lax, really. That doesn't make much sense, but if you have a quarrel with me, you may bite me.

I have decided that this should not be an educational resource at the moment. There should, instead, be boobies.

Yes, the people demand boobies. As do I! So boobie away!

Well, what can I say? I'm currently insanely hormonal and have spent the last two days having as little contact with humans as is possible, as I do not really want to be arrested for murder. Gaol is not fun. I would have to work my way up in the ranks, collecting bitches, and I've already DONE that on the outside! It seems silly to have to do it again!

To add to the hormonalness, I have just today discovered that some new medication I have just started on causes breast growth. Many women would be thrilled by this. I am not. My breasts do not NEED to grow. They are a perfectly respectable 16DD. I would be happy if they were a 12C, for God's sake! It's hard enough to find bras already.

So, if any of you have scientific minds, kindly find a way for me to pass the breast growage onto someone who needs it more than myself. I can start up a charitable foundation, if needs be. Just ... for God's sake, don't let the suckers grow any more!!!!

I have recently, for the sake of my mental well-being, taken up playing the guitar again. Unfortunately, the only options I have here (at my parents' place) are my sister's half-sized nylon-string guitar (which is even ridiculously smaller than my three quarter-sized guitar, and nowhere near the clarity of the steel strings) or my Dad's "12 string" ... which currently has about 8 strings and sounds like a cat being tortured with the machine from the Princess Bride. Oh, and an electric guitar, but I do not like them. They don't have the nuances of acoustic.

Also, they are technological, and thus likely to explode when I touch them.

So, there are a few songs I have been practising every now and then, and at some point, when I can be bothered doing something other than horribly murdering innocent people, I intend to record a new one for my YouTube channel.

This is the problem though. I still don't think I'm very good. I've had compliments and blah blah blah, but I've also had people really telling that I'm not very good. And the problem is that I more readily believe the people that have negative things to say than those that have positive things to say. Especially when the people who are negative are my friends. It's really tough to get my self-esteem back once it's down, and my YouTube channel is one way I'm trying to do this. I mean, I've had nothing but positives so far, but ... I don't know. It's still tough.

So, for all two of you that are following this (Lee and Addy, your devotion amazes me. It will amaze me more if you can be bothered reading this. I shall label it with "Naked Paul Rudd" just to make certain that you do ... ) You get to have a vote on which new song I will upload. You can also say you don't really care.

Right now, I have three options. There is my current favourite song, "Eve, the Apple of my Eye" by Bell X1. It's a bit depressing, but absolutely gorgeous and I love it.

There is one of "our" songs that I have hunted out just for you, Lee - "Hazard". This will be without commentary, but if you would like, I can later add a version with commentary. Just for shites and giggles.

And finally, there is Deccer's favourite, "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Mainly because it's easy to play, and a bit of a change from the normal, depressing stuff that I play. I don't think there's one happy song on my channel. Unless you count "Born to Run", and even that's still quite depressing.

So there you both are. You may vote. In the meantime, I shall put up a picture of Paul Rudd, naked. Hoorah!

Ciao, mi amigos! (I do not know if I mixed languages there, or even if I just blatantly made part of that up. And frankly, I don't care! Suck it up, I'm speaking foreign! :P )